Contentedness
Most of us have a dream,that one achievement we fantasize and daydream about. That one thing which we think,after we achieve it,we will never worry about anything else ever again. Be it money,a soulmate or a perfect family,most of us have that one wish which,if it can just come free,we think we would have completed this game of life and what follows afterwards will be like the ending of most Disney movies,a happily ever after.
But have you ever asked yourself,"why do i want this?".No but seriously though,ask yourself that question. The most probable answer you are going to get is going to be in the lines of,"i want this thing because it is going to make me happy", but what does being happy entail though?According to the Oxford English Dictionary,the definition of "happy" is simply, feeling pleasure. Which brings up this question,why are our standards for pleasure so high and always seem so difficult to attain?Why do we find it so hard to find pleasure in small,easily attainable things?The answer lies within us,literally.
It is human nature to never be completely happy.Yes really.Human beings are programmed to always be dissatisfied so that we can strive to be better.Its this virtue,or vice,that has allowed us as a species to make so many advances in health,industry etc.For example, the first manned aircraft was a major achievement in human history. Finally,human could fly,literally but despite that major achievement,we still found way to be dissatisfied with it,so we kept building complex and more complex flying machines,and we are still at it. That dissatisfaction drove us to advancements of such magnificent proportions. So even after you get that million dollars that you think is the epitome of happiness,you are going to still want even more millions.That soulmate that you think is going to make your life complete,even after you get he/she,you still going to feel like there is even more happiness to be achieved.
Absolute happiness is a white whale,meaning you will probably never see it. Think about when you were young,you probably thought owning a gaming console was the definition of absolute happiness. Then you finally got that PlayStation 2 and your definition of absolute happiness changed. You thought,if i pass my high school exams and make it to varsity,now that will be definition of absolute happiness. You achieved that too,you are in varsity and you probably thinking,"if i get this degree,i will never be stressed again".Wrong,you are still going to be stressed by something else,be it unemployment,adjusting to adult life etc etc. The cycle will keep on repeating itself over and over again until you get to your old age then you realize that you spent the majority of your good years chasing the wind that is happiness,then regrets start pouring in.
At this point you are probably wondering,"uhhm,you just told me that i will not be entirely happy even if i achieve my wildest dreams,what now?".There is,indeed,a light at the end of the tunnel,and that light is contentedness. According to the Oxford English Dictionary,contentment is a feeling that you get when you have learned to find the pleasure in things.And how do you find the pleasure in things?Accept that life is going to suck sometimes,well probably most of the time,so instead of worrying about how you are going to make things suck less,focus on just LIVING.And how do you go about doing this living thing i speak of?By focusing your entire energy into every single thing that you do.I learnt this exercise from The Power Of Spiritual Intelligence by Tony Buzan and it has had such an immensely positive effect on the overall quality of my life in general,trivial as it seems. Every thing that you do,focus your energy and attention on it,on that moment,not what happened yesterday,what could be happening at that time,or whats going to happen after that,because life is nothing but the NOW.Whether you are doing something trivial like watching TV or taking a dump,appreciate that moment,savor it and you will come to realize that every moment you spend on this earth is precious and that will consequently breed contentedness that you will have with your life. The icing on top of the cake is that focusing your energy on every thing that you do will consequently improve that future you are so worried about without even realizing or worrying about it and even if it doesn't,you will find solace in the fact that hey,you tried your best,its just the universe wasn't aligned with you.
So instead of your happiness being defined by some holy grail dream that is going to probably going to be very difficult to achieve,find happiness in the one thing that you do not even have to put in effort to do,and that is living. Every single day you spend alive can be a source of happiness if you choose to appreciate it.Like Mark Manson said,pursuing something does nothing but reinforce the fact that you lack it.You spend your precious moments worrying about how you are going to be able to achieve that dream instead of not doing what you are on this earth to do,that is to live.Yes,dreams and goals are good to have because they give us the zeal to work harder ,knowing that we are edging closer and closer to achieving them,but we should not make the mistake of thinking that those dreams = happiness,because if we adopt that mentality,boy are we on for a huge disappointment.
We all do not know how long we are going to be here.You might be here for the next 70+ years,20 years,or today might even be your last day above ground.Regardless of how many days you have left,do you really want to waste any of them worrying about how the future,something that is not even guaranteed,is going to be like,or do you want to spend every single one of them appreciating the beauty of every moment of life?
But have you ever asked yourself,"why do i want this?".No but seriously though,ask yourself that question. The most probable answer you are going to get is going to be in the lines of,"i want this thing because it is going to make me happy", but what does being happy entail though?According to the Oxford English Dictionary,the definition of "happy" is simply, feeling pleasure. Which brings up this question,why are our standards for pleasure so high and always seem so difficult to attain?Why do we find it so hard to find pleasure in small,easily attainable things?The answer lies within us,literally.
It is human nature to never be completely happy.Yes really.Human beings are programmed to always be dissatisfied so that we can strive to be better.Its this virtue,or vice,that has allowed us as a species to make so many advances in health,industry etc.For example, the first manned aircraft was a major achievement in human history. Finally,human could fly,literally but despite that major achievement,we still found way to be dissatisfied with it,so we kept building complex and more complex flying machines,and we are still at it. That dissatisfaction drove us to advancements of such magnificent proportions. So even after you get that million dollars that you think is the epitome of happiness,you are going to still want even more millions.That soulmate that you think is going to make your life complete,even after you get he/she,you still going to feel like there is even more happiness to be achieved.
Absolute happiness is a white whale,meaning you will probably never see it. Think about when you were young,you probably thought owning a gaming console was the definition of absolute happiness. Then you finally got that PlayStation 2 and your definition of absolute happiness changed. You thought,if i pass my high school exams and make it to varsity,now that will be definition of absolute happiness. You achieved that too,you are in varsity and you probably thinking,"if i get this degree,i will never be stressed again".Wrong,you are still going to be stressed by something else,be it unemployment,adjusting to adult life etc etc. The cycle will keep on repeating itself over and over again until you get to your old age then you realize that you spent the majority of your good years chasing the wind that is happiness,then regrets start pouring in.
At this point you are probably wondering,"uhhm,you just told me that i will not be entirely happy even if i achieve my wildest dreams,what now?".There is,indeed,a light at the end of the tunnel,and that light is contentedness. According to the Oxford English Dictionary,contentment is a feeling that you get when you have learned to find the pleasure in things.And how do you find the pleasure in things?Accept that life is going to suck sometimes,well probably most of the time,so instead of worrying about how you are going to make things suck less,focus on just LIVING.And how do you go about doing this living thing i speak of?By focusing your entire energy into every single thing that you do.I learnt this exercise from The Power Of Spiritual Intelligence by Tony Buzan and it has had such an immensely positive effect on the overall quality of my life in general,trivial as it seems. Every thing that you do,focus your energy and attention on it,on that moment,not what happened yesterday,what could be happening at that time,or whats going to happen after that,because life is nothing but the NOW.Whether you are doing something trivial like watching TV or taking a dump,appreciate that moment,savor it and you will come to realize that every moment you spend on this earth is precious and that will consequently breed contentedness that you will have with your life. The icing on top of the cake is that focusing your energy on every thing that you do will consequently improve that future you are so worried about without even realizing or worrying about it and even if it doesn't,you will find solace in the fact that hey,you tried your best,its just the universe wasn't aligned with you.
So instead of your happiness being defined by some holy grail dream that is going to probably going to be very difficult to achieve,find happiness in the one thing that you do not even have to put in effort to do,and that is living. Every single day you spend alive can be a source of happiness if you choose to appreciate it.Like Mark Manson said,pursuing something does nothing but reinforce the fact that you lack it.You spend your precious moments worrying about how you are going to be able to achieve that dream instead of not doing what you are on this earth to do,that is to live.Yes,dreams and goals are good to have because they give us the zeal to work harder ,knowing that we are edging closer and closer to achieving them,but we should not make the mistake of thinking that those dreams = happiness,because if we adopt that mentality,boy are we on for a huge disappointment.
We all do not know how long we are going to be here.You might be here for the next 70+ years,20 years,or today might even be your last day above ground.Regardless of how many days you have left,do you really want to waste any of them worrying about how the future,something that is not even guaranteed,is going to be like,or do you want to spend every single one of them appreciating the beauty of every moment of life?
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